By D.Thomas

“Gaudete!”

“Gaudete” sings the chorus; but it is hard to “rejoice.”

The world has celebrated Hanukkah and Christmas and the Winter Solstice, and in America is Kwanzaa; I will talk about the Christian holiday and Judeo-Christian scriptures here, because that is my own faith, and I am still hoping to share the Gospel, which is Good News about Love.

Yuletide, and the Christmas Season: O happy time of people singing carols in the streets and hanging lights and green branches, of gatherings, concerts and post-season play-offs, of Snowflakes and waltzing Flowers, gift-givings and friendly greetings; and of longer nights and colder winds and the reaching of the dregs of another year: a season of happiness and despair, known equally for socializing (with and without attendant anxieties) and for loneliness.

O season of Light in Darkness, and the darkness.

It is easy and common to wonder, Did the birth and life of Jesus really do any good?

In the world, the commonplaces rage still: war, still: war, and the floods, fires, famines, shootings; it has been, again, the hottest year on record, and trump is somehow the front-running Republican, and has even pulled ahead of Biden in popularity over Israel, according to a recent Wall Street Journal poll…

In families, cancers and deaths, and aging, rounds of hospitals, of treatments and therapies, or of estrangements and abuses, difficult loves and silences,

I was depressed most of the fall– maybe most of the summer and fall and into Advent, and I know others struggling in the nets and snares of depression, dragging heavy- weighted issues along their own muddy, rocky, thorny wildernesses and city ruins where monsters and robbers hide out and ambush…

It took me so long to be able to write more than my journal that Christmas Day has passed (Oh! But there are twelve!)– but I want to backtrack, and look. And so:

In the Christian calendar, Advent is the four-week season leading up to Christmas, the time of preparing our hearts and minds for the coming of the Christ Child– not just our houses and tables, and itineraries.

We are supposed to prepare and await with eager expectation the coming of God into the world, God among humans, God With Us is His Name (Immanuel).

Over the four Sundays, candles on a wreathe are lit in most churches and many homes, first one, then two, until we light the central Christ candle on Christmas Eve. The candles commonly represent Hope, Peace, Love, and Joy.

Hope? When, despite all the information about the devastation of climate change if we do not alter our human ways, the USA extracted its highest volume of fossil fuels ever in 2023, while the war in Ukraine continues past Americans’ eagerness to send aid or post supportive pics of President Zelensky, and war has broken out yet again in the Holy Land.

Isaiah, who wrote and prophesied roughly 800 years before the Nativity, said:

“Now the LORD is about to lay waste the earth and make it desolate, and He will twist its surface and scatter its inhabitants. And it shall be, as with the people, so with the priest; as with the slave, so with his master.. as with the creditor, so with the debtor…the earth dries up and withers, the world languishes and withers; the heavens languish together with the earth. The earth lies polluted under its inhabitants; for they have transgressed laws, violated the statutes, broken the everlasting covenant. Therefor a curse devours the earth, and its inhabitants suffer in their guilt; therefore the inhabitants of the earth dwindled, and few people are left,” [ISAIAH 24:1-6].

Can we keep hoping, when every year is hotter, and the cities and nations continue oppressing, hating, killing?

What do we hope, anymore? For Peace on earth?

Peace? When the harshest war in decades is destroying the Gaza Strip, when Hamas terrorists bombed thousand, and Israel has been destructively retaliating, to the point that Christmas festivities were cancelled in Bethlehem this year.

Isaiah wrote:

“Therefore justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us; we wait for light, and lo! there is darkness; and for brightness, but we walk in gloom… Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands at a distance; for truth stumbles in the public square, and uprightness cannot enter. Truth is lacking, and whoever turns from evil is despoiled… The LORD saw it, and it displeased Him that there was no justice. He saw that there was no one, and was appalled that there was no one to intervene, [ISAIAH 59: 9; 14-16].

Peace on earth? Often it seems that the only peace will be brought by entropy, when everything has drifted far apart, molecules, even, losing cohesion, and motion slows to a standstill and the first or fifty-billionth earth and heaven just stop.

Love? Where, then, is the Love?

“So His own arm brought Him victory, and Hi righteousness upheld Him. He put on righteousness like a breastplate, and a helmet of salvation on His head…and He will come to Zion as Redeemer, to those in Jacob who turn from transgression, says the LORD,” {ISAIAH 59:16-17, 20].

“For God so loved the world that He sent His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not perish but have eternal life,” [JOHN 3:16];

“What came into being in Him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not overcome it,” [JOHN 1:3b-5].

“Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him,” [JOHN 3:17].

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The season of Advent is also supposed to be that of preparing our hearts and minds for the arrival of Christ Jesus in the world again, the “Second Coming”– but do we know what that means? John describes:

“...A white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war, His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns…he is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses,” [REVELATION 19: 11-14;]

And Matthew records Jesus saying,

“Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and then the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see ‘the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven” with power and great glory. And he will send out his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other,” [MATT. 24: 30-31;]

“All creation waits,” Saint Paul writes in Romans.

If Christ is going to return to destroy the wicked, to throw the Beast and Satan into the pit and so forth, and Set Things Right– what is He waiting for? How bad do things have to get? we ask, and it gets harder and harder to have faith enough to show others, or to believe at all. Is God waiting ’til we nuke ourselves, or destroy all but a last third of the population and habitable planet? How is that Love? No wonder many do not believe (aside from not believing in mythological Monsters and Angels and dynasties).

“Creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God,” [ROMANS 8:19-21.]

The world is groaning, the planet parched, starving Earth is crying out in her distress.

“We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only creation but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies,” [ROMANS 8:22-23;]

This isn’t very cheery or Christmas-y sounding, and doesn’t turn all mourning into dancing right off, does it? But wait– labor pains? God in Creation is bringing forth, birthing something out of all this? Paul says next,

“For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience,” [ROMANS 8: 24-25.]

Looking out at the gloomy, depressing facts of the world, consider: we do not hope for what is seen, but what is not seen yet– but coming into being?

“Once Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God was coming, and he answered,

‘The kingdom of God is not coming with things that can be observed; nor will they say, “Look, here it is!” or “There it is!” For, in fact, the kingdom of God is among you,'” [LUKE 17:20-21.]

God is with God’s kingdom– is Creation not God’s Kingdom? The Living God, Spirit, is moving in Creation and God’s creations, so that even when we are overwhelmed, lost or buried in helplessness, we can call out, we can pray. And, somehow, prayer works. I like to think that the words or thoughts of someone praying disturb and excite particles, stir (psychic?) fields or forces, which react.

“The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God,” [ROMANS 8: 26-27.]

My own depression and feeling-alone-ness had me at the edge of my darkest pit; the lip was slippery with inky sludge, and I could feel myself sliding into despair and acedia and suicidal ideations, and I knew I needed help: this was my own Solstice.

I emailed a circle of the people I sing with, asking for prayers, confessing my need of spiritual help. I wanted to make it through the day, the holidays, my father’s remaining lifetime, and to be gentle with him, and efficient, and maybe useful, and, anyway, less gloomy.

People responded quickly, even taking me out for fresh air and a walk beside my favorite places, and I could feel by the next morning that my deep chasm had closed again, I’d been lifted away from the dangerous, unstable edge, and was okay.

I was able to sing “Gaudete,” with some joy with those singers:

“Gaudete, gaudete! Christus est natus ex Maria virginie! Gaudete!” — a joyful Medieval chorus which has been dancing in my head since.

I would have been content with a lift out of the worst, scariest mental state, but Spirit Who Prays For Us and Answers Prayer worked more deeply; a week or so later it struck me that my dim, dreamless outlook with my wish to go home once my Dad and my cat have gone, is the sin of Acedia again– of not caring. It was saying No to God, saying No, I didn’t care if God might or does have something in mind for me to do later, in my later years, for which this time is preparation. I was rejecting future roles and works in feeling that there would be nothing and I would be all alone. My despondency had trapped me within myself until I didn’t care to look out at the world, and could not see much of anything at all to hope or work for or toward.

I do not mean that Depression is Sin, but, whatever else it is, it is a spiritual sickness, and surely Pandemic. One can easily slide into sin from depression: our demons know us well, and whisper enticements most when our strength is low.

Then there was a sermon which highlighted Mama Arlene (Brown), a local woman who was called to move to Africa and open a home for children in Rwanda at the age of 65.

Mary was very young, but ancestor Sarah and cousin Elizabeth bore their first children when old and “past bearing,” (in Genesis and Luke), and Anna the prophet who saw Jesus when his parents brought him to the Jerusalem Temple for his dedication and circumcision, who spoke of him to all around (LUKE 2: 36-38), was a widow for or of 84 years, after seven years of marriage. Abraham was old when he was promised children and blessings on the world, and Moses was old when he saw the burning bush.

If I throw my future back with a No thank you, is that not turning away from God, God’s plan, God’s good creation?

I have had the title of this essay in mind, and on drafts, since early summer; I have seen the sin I’d slid into, but kept not writing about it even in my notebook until the first or second day of Christmastime, reluctant even still to try out hope, tentative, because– because repentance is hard, because armor is heavy, because I do not yet know what there will be, what I might be called to, and it is extremely difficult to hope or trust in the Anthropocene– but only by serving creation, serving living creatures, serving m neighbors, can I serve God and help make things better, help heal.

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; therefore He will rise up to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are those who wait for him.

“Truly, O people of Zion, inhabitants of Jerusalem, you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; wen He hears it He will answer you. Though the LORD may give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your eyes shall see your Teacher. And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a Word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” [ISAIAH 30:18-21]

And when we cast away our idols– of Gold, of Empire, or Hard Work, or Nation or Spirituality or Self,

“He will give rain for the seed with which you sow the ground, and grain, the produce of the ground, which will be rich and plenteous. On that day your cattle will graze in broad pastures; and the oxen and donkeys that till the ground will eat silage, which has been winnowed with shovel and fork. On every lofty mountain and every high hill there will be brooks running with water,” [ISAIAH 30: 23-25a ].

I am in a little more peace, and not as heavy or dark as I was, and want to remember to:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and the strength of His power. Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places,” [EPHESIANS 6: 10-12];

For, in Their Love, God has given us the Holy Spirit Who Tells The Truth About God and convicts us of sin and righteousness, Who leads us and comforts us and gives us spiritual gifts with which to serve God and our neighbors; the Spirit and the Word of God are the Power and the Light that defeats the darkness,

And God Creator Who Loves the Created Beings has given us a world of incredible beauty, of awesome birds and towering trees and communicating funguses, and grand mountains and canyons and seas; and when we can look and meet Nature, Creator’s world, and can experience awe, wonder, delight, we are in the midst of Love and a breath from Joy.

Is the LORD still waiting patiently for me? For us?

Yes.

““But do not ignore this one fact, beloved, that with the LORD one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like one day. The LORD is not slow about His promise, as some think of slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance,: [1 PETER 3:8-10].

“Some sat in darkness and in gloom, prisoners in misery and in irons, for they had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High .Their hearts were bowed down with hard labor; they fell down, with no one to help. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress; He brought them out of darkness and gloom, and broke their bonds asunder. Let them thank the LORD for His steadfast love, and His wonderful works to humankind,” [PSALM 107: 10-15].

“Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth; break forth, O mountains, into singing! For the Lord has comforted His people, and will have compassion on His suffering ones.

“But Zion said, ‘The LORD has forsaken me, my LORD has forgotten me.’

“ Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion to for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands; your wails are continually before me.” [ISAIAH 49: 13-15].

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness– on them light has shined…

“For a child has been born for us, a son given to us; authority rests upon his shoulders; and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace…the zeal of the LORD of Hosts will do this,” [ISAIAH 9: 2, 6-7].

Gaudete, Gaudete! Christus est natus! Gaudete!